A Volturi fan's reaction to BD Part I
by Petals Open to the Moon
Summary: SPOILER ALERT My creative reaction to the absent Volturi in the movie, except that cheating bit at the end, and what I would say to my dear, dear Aro.


**Yeah, so... it's been a hectic last few days. Thanks for your pats, guys, and sympathy, but I won't go back to see it, due to various circumstances (that's why it hit me so hard I guess... I knew I wouldn't get a second chance). **

**Those of you who didn't see the Breaking Dawn credits, look it up on youtube before it's snatched off. Believe me - it's HILARIOUS. **

**Be that as it may... I scribbled this short bit down two nights ago, in response to Summit Entertainment for ripping off us Volturi-lovers. My name from deviantart is used. Enjoy, my loves, and REVIEW. :D :D :D **

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><p>"<em>What the heck, Aro?" <em>

She shoved into the room, nearly knocking over Demetri, who held a crystal wineglass in his hands. "Woah… easy does it," he muttered, dabbing at the drops of blood spilled. He reached for Heidi's arm, leading the unnatural beauty out the door. "You don't want to see this," he whispered. "Trust me."

The girl whirled her head, glaring at them. She held her gaze until the door closed, then her eyes came fiercely back to meet _his. _

"Well?" she snapped.

The vampire looked up from his desk. "Something wrong, Fiona?" he asked.

"How can you sit there, looking at those stupid papers, when you know _darn _well what's wrong?"

Aro chuckled. "Forgive me," he said, touching his lips. "I am not like that Cullen boy, child. You must do more than that for me to understand clearly."

"Screw your gift," she hissed. "It's about the movie and you know it."

He continued to smile. "Ah? Is it newly released? I seldom get to theaters these days."

She threw something at him, aiming for his smug face. He caught it nimbly, holding it up to the light. "Ah…" he said softly. "I've heard about this." He looked up at her. "I'm sorry, my love, but I still don't see the problem. The rating seems fair…" He hid a wicked smile. "And there's plenty of sex, too, which you little girls seem to love. What more could you ask for?"

She glared at him. "Where were you?"

"Pardon?"

"_You." _She poked him with her finger. "You. Aro. Leader of the Volturi. Where the heck _were _you?"

He raised his eyebrows. "Here, of course. And you?"

"In the friggin' _theater!" _she wailed. "What an unbelievable _waste _of almost _two and a half hours, _waiting for your stupid mug to show up on that friggin' scre—"

"Fiona." He was laughing again, rising to his feet. He pushed her into his chair, forcing her down when she tried to get up. _"Slow down." _He leaned against the desk. "Now, tell me _clearly _and concisely. What exactly are you upset about?"

"The wedding scene," she mumbled.

"Yes, I heard it was wonderful."

"Stop being sarcastic."

"I'm sorry, love. The wedding scene?"

"It was great," she said slowly. "Flowers, trellises, pale people… all that crap. But there was only one thing wrong."

"What was that?" he asked patiently.

She sighed. "It was just a dream." _Ah, yes, _she thought._ Bella's dreams. You'd think nightmares were the prerogative of every adolescent female. _"Bella was dreaming of the wedding, with everyone wearing white, down to those awful _white_ tuxedos. She was running up the aisle, without her father, and there were imaginary violins playing in the background." She smiled up at him. "You see, it wasn't real, Aro. None of it was, because _you _were there. You and your brothers."

His eyes flickered mischievously. "Really? Was I the groom?"

"No, you idiot. You were just _standing _there, like some damn maids of honor. Or three ministers. You'd slaughtered all the guests, for some reason, and there was blood everywhere."

"How delightful," he said softly.

"It gets even better," she continued. "You know why?"

"Do tell."

"That was _it!" _She stood upright, her nostrils flaring. "I sat through _two hours _of cheesy wolves, awkward silences, and vampire babies, and That. Was. _It!" _

"Oh?" he raised his eyebrow. "There was, if I recall, a charming little sequence at the end." He smirked. "After everyone had left the theater, of course. Do close your mouth, Fiona dear. It's not becoming."

She spluttered, the words incoherent. Aro tilted his head. "What was that?"

Her hand flew to her mouth, disguising a barely-concealed gasp. "The credits! They added an extra scene, didn't they?"

"I'm glad you caught on." He giggled suddenly.

"What's so funny?" she snapped.

"Forgive me, my dear, but I can't help myself. Just think: all those months of waiting, and your patience was for naught." He tsked sympathetically. "Oh, the sordidness of film marketing."

She glared at him. "Are you finished?"

"You don't wish to hear more?"

"Of course not. I'll find it on Youtube."

"Ah? After it lied so convincingly about the content of the film?" He shook his head. "It's a shame, really. You put such faith in the most trivial things." He bent slightly, gathering the poster from the floor. He laid it flat on his desk, running a finger carelessly across Edward's face…

"Oh, my gosh…" She paced back and forth in front of him, ranting. "But… but what about the trailers? What about that one TV spot, the one where you say… oh, whatever it was. I was expecting a little _letter-reading _going on, Aro! The invitation? Your brother in that sexy suit? Oh, and what about those two random women, the ones Demetri knocked out? I mean, you've got to be _kidding _me…"

"Fiona…"

She sank back in the chair, holding her head in her hands. "I hate my life," she moaned.

The vampire clucked his tongue. "You really must get ahold of yourself, my dear."

"Don't 'dear' me. I hate you."

"Oh? For someone who would leap into fire for me three hours ago, that's somewhat redundant."

"Uhhh…" she moaned.

Aro lifted her, grasping under her arms carefully. "Look at me, Fiona."

"Go away."

"_Look _at me."

She shook her head, mute. She looked on the verge of a real crying jag. He brushed her hair from her swollen eyes, tucking it gently behind her ears. His fingers traced back to her chin, forcing her to look up. "This is not the end of the world, love," he whispered. "Have you forgotten the second part? It comes out November, doesn't it?"

"It _is _November!" she blubbered. "Oh, God…"

He pulled a handkerchief from his pocket, pressing it against her nose. "It's only a year."

"I can't wait," she wailed. "I just can't…"

"Ah, but you will," he said, giving her the handkerchief. "You _will _wait, and you _will _survive, and there will be plenty of—how did you put it?—'sexy' vampires next year."

She almost laughed. "You're the only one I'm looking for, you know that?"

"Oh, stop it, Fiona. I'm blushing."

She touched his cheek. "You _can't_ blush, silly."

He pulled away slyly. "I thought you despised me."

"I do, but a makeout session would still be nice."

Aro raised an eyebrow. "Makeout? Is that another vulgar expression of yours?"

"Blame the twenty-first century. You know what I mean, don't you?"

He laughed, the sound fading into a sexy purr. "But of course, dear girl. A term insinuating an intense physical embrace…" He undid his black collar slowly, revealing two grayish scars on his neck. "…an embrace which, for the typical vampire and human, means no uncertain death."

"I'm terrified." She shoved the papers off the desk, trying to catch his receding figure.

"Careful, sweetheart. I need those documents."

She lashed out, seizing a corner of his cloak. "You need to sue Summit, that's what you need to do."

"I may have to sue you first. You're wrecking my room." He twisted from her grip, reappearing just behind her. She sighed as his honeyed lips caressed her ear.

"Why don't you go put on that suit?" she murmured.

"Which one?"

"The one you wear at Bella's wedding, in her dreams. The one with the…" She gasped, feeling his hands explore her waist. "…with that delicious red tie. Old-fashioned look, chain and all."

"Of course, Miss Chanel, but suppose you fix my hair for me first?"

She turned her head, sucking his neck. "I will. It looks terrible."

"I don't fasten it back every day," he whispered darkly. "Men care less about such things."

She kissed him. "I know, but have you _ever _heard of hair spray?"

He growled at her, and they fell back against the desk, shoving the remaining books and papers to the floor. A spot of ink smeared his flawless forehead, but she went on kissing him, rubbing it out absently with her fingers. His body felt amazing against hers. His mouth was candy, rich and sweet against her eagerly-waiting lips, and his hair was liquid silk on her skin. How in heaven's name had she lasted until now, she didn't know. At least the kiss was three times what she had imagined. He was like a beautifully-packaged treat, delivered expressly for her pleasure and enjoyment.

Aro giggled into her neck. _"Bon appetit," _he whispered. He lifted her onto the chair, locking himself tightly against her. The furniture protested at their combined weight, but they ignored it for the most part. Fiona leaned back, letting her physical being speak for her.

_Yep, Summit, _she thought, dizzy with scattered emotions. _You've got a _lot _to answer for… _

**_Petals/Fiona_**


End file.
